Behind closed doors…

The battle no one sees is the cancer patient that is suffering & fighting to stay alive. No one wants to show themselves sick & weak. Fragile does not even begin to describe how you feel when you are hooked up to a machine pumping pure poison into your body for hours upon hours at a time. No one wants to talk about the endless side effects that chemo or radiation have on you. Or the removal of several organs just to ensure that you stay alive or that cancer can not steadily sneak back into your body at any time. It sounds like a horrible human experiment gone wrong but it’s not, it’s those seemingly inhumane survival practices that kept me alive & keeps others battling to live another day.

There were several upon several instances when I thought I wasn’t going to live through the chemotherapy treatments. Im sure ever cancer patient has their stories!

I was battling & I had just had my daughter & I my son was 3 at the time. It was in the midst of flu season none-the-less and so I had to be extra careful. There was one time that my kids BOTH had the dreaded hand foot mouth & ever toy & surface had to be completely wiped & washed. Then right after the recovery my daughter got sick again & had a fever. She was so fussy & I guess tired of other people holding her but me. So I told my Husband who was manning down the fort at the time to just give her to me. I couldn’t bear to see her crying. I scooped her up, weak & frail in my arms & swayed with her in her room. She instantly calmed & it was just a very beautiful moment. God used my daughter at that time to calm me, to fuel me to battle further. There are tiny glimpses of hope & faith tied into each moment if we only look.

After I was done with chemo I told my family at Thanksgiving that I wanted to go see other cancer patients. At the time my parents didn’t think going to the hospital to visit others was a good idea due to my low immune system but I told them God was pulling me in that direction and that they were children battling & I had a strong urge to go. When I went to visit I went with a group of friends & my husband. We each got to go and visit one patient battling, meet them & give them their Christmas gifts. I went & I saw this beautiful sweet girl & her mother. I then noticed a cross & a picture of the Virgin Mary. After we left that kept coming back. We were still at the hospital waiting to be released as a group & I told my Husband I have to go back in. I dont know what but God wants me to go talk to this little gift & her mother. I did scared & reluctant at what on earth was I going to say but I went anyway. She looked shocked when I came back. I told her that I too had just battled & won. She didnt believe me because I had a long wig on at the time, so impulsively I took it off. Just like that her eyes opened very wide in shock I suspect & she smiled. That smile was beautiful & it warmed my heart. I could tell my simple, small act made her mother grateful. I talked to the girl a bit & then I left. She later lost her battle & I just know God took that sweet girl straight up to Heaven & she is watching over her Mom & twin sister as well as, all those others battling.

The last picture I am going to share is from my Cancer Walk with MD Anderson back in 2016. I had literally JUST wrapped up my chemo & was insistent on attending even though it was so last minute. We rallyed a few friends & family and made our walk through Downtown Houston. I met several other fighters that day & survivors. If you are battling I suggest you make it out & see. It is quite amazing to see how many come to support.

I had the best support through chemo & the best team of Doctors, Nurses & staff at MD Anderson. The very best family & friends!

Now fast forward 4 years I have the best little family, a great ability to help Employers find the right candidates & another chance at life.