Are you the type of person that says, “No!” a lot? Its okay, you can be honest. I will not judge you! We’ve all been there. We have been in that place where you are comfortable in your pj’s & robe cuddled on the couch watching the latest episode of NetFlix’s latest series or fervently reading the latest Ruth Ware thriller & you happily, yes happily said no to a few requests to hang out. Yes, yes you there, you said no & it is perfectly fine until its not. Until its inhibiting & burdensome to your ability to prosper in life. Its one thing to be introverted & thrive in your life at home with your husband & kids or lovable mutt. It’s just that difference between having responsibilities to tend to or allowing the world to be locked away so you can wallow in self pity, indulgence or recklessness. Which are you? Do you avoid the yes’ in your life that would propel you into uncomfortable situations to instead eat that buttery popcorn on your couch while trying to figure out if The Queen’s Gambit is worth the rest of your time invested? By the way, yes it is.
Let’s explore why that is? Why do things that make us uncomfortable in life make us curl inward, into our shells & inwardly retract our feelings, pushing everyone out & letting no one in? I know I personally for the most part say yes to a lot of invitations to fun get together’s or friendly night outs. If its a family invitation you can pretty much count my little family in. Its when I get the invitations to do things solo that I tend to take a seat back & hesitate. Do I really want to be away from my husband & not hang out again for the third night in a row? Oh & I forgot that my son has a baseball game that night, do I really want to miss that? Oh and the laundry. The dreaded five loads of laundry that I loathe as it sits smugly in the baskets staring at me, judging me as I walk back & forth keeping busy during the day & not making eye contact. That laundry haunts me at night. I do my best to get to my laundry in a timely fashion but lets be real here, when you are a working mom of two very active children & try to be the wife that cooks every night laundry has to take a back seat guys. There just are not enough hours in the day! Things that make me cringe, things that make me hesitate a bit before saying yes, or things that even question my ability to parent at a full 110% Hispanic motherly way, tend to make me want to say no. (Those of you that are hispanic know what I mean by that).
So saying no is in part good because whatever we do say yes to inevitably makes us say no to something else in our lives. Something will always take a back seat. That’s frustrating because what if I want to go to do a working happy hour to dredge up business but that means I have to then make a conscious decision to miss my daughter’s ballet class; is that connection really worth it? Guys she will only be five for 365 days. Once it’s gone it is gone! So thats an unwanted look into the inner screws in my head. However, we can flip this in anyway we want. Saying yes to my daughters ballet is a good thing just like maybe saying yes to happy hour at a later day is just as good. Who is to say we can’t manipulate how we say that yes?
Recently I said yes to continuing to write my first hand at a book. I begin & then stop only to start and stop that process a million times over for the fear of my not being good enough. Who really judges whether or not I am good enough though? You? There are millions of you. Millions upon millions of people out there. So when I see it that way surely there is one amongst millions that will appreciate what I have to say & how I say it? So then I pick up my laptop & begin to click away again. Even if its a little yes. A yes that takes place in mere moments & not a definitive yes in which you see a flat result. Yes I will go here. Yes I will do that.
If you are the person that says no but so desperately wants to be a yes person than start slow like I do clicking away at my keys. One step in front of the other. Left foot, right foot. You can do it! Say yes to those goals you have in life. Say yes to the job offer that scares you! Say yes to enrolling in school to get your degree or an additional degree. Just say YES! However, yes there is a caveat there always is. However, remember that there must be accountability if saying yes is trulyy going to have an impact. If you say yes, make sure there is follow through in that you actually go out and do what was asked of you. You could say yes, say those three letters loudly but if you do not do it well, then whats the point? There must be action in it my friends! Say yes & then go do what you said that yes to. Put yourself in those damn uncomfortable situations to grow & prosper, to build & expand into a better you.
